First Date Disasters and How to Avoid Them

In the world of singles dating, getting to the first date is like making it to the World Cup finals – although you had to work pretty hard to get that far, you haven’t won the championship just yet. More than likely you’ve spent some time getting to know someone online or over the phone before the date was set. They obviously like you or else they wouldn’t have agreed to go on a date with you. Whatever you do… don’t blow it now by making any of the mistakes listed below.

Dressing inappropriately

As a general rule, women should never wear anything too revealing unless they are intending to send a sexy message. Both men and women need to make sure your outfit is clean and pressed, it fits you properly, and you are wearing clean shoes. Most of all, wear something you’re comfortable in. First dates aren’t the time to be trying out a new style or breaking in a new pair of jeans.

Choosing a Bad location

If you end up at a restaurant or bar that’s too noisy and crowded, you won’t get a chance to talk and connect. Same can be said for going to a movie where you’ll just have to sit in silence for two hours… not the best use of your time. The focus of the first date is all about getting to know someone and that’s simply not possible if you don’t get the chance to converse.

Spending Too Much Money

People can be tempted to spend a lot of money on a first date because they think it will impress. True, spoiling someone can be persuasive but it’s not necessary. You’re more apt to create a memorable impression by coming up with something unique and creative, such as going roller skating or doing a wine tasting. Save your money for dating down the road when you’re sure you’ve got some chemistry.

Talking too much

It’s totally normal to be nervous and anxious on the first date. For many people, this can lead to verbal diarrhea. Nothing is more off-putting than listening to someone go on and on about themselves. When you jabber on unrelentingly, you run the risk of saying something you regret. Try listening more than you talk.

Answering your Cell Phone or Texting

Nothing could be more offensive than repeatedly answering your cell phone and sending text messages while dating someone new. If you’re dealing with a crisis or have to take calls from your babysitter, that’s one thing. But if you’re dealing with work issues or taking every call that comes in from friends, it’s bound to raise some red flags for your date. Place your phone on vibrate and give your date your full attention.

Planning Too Long of a date

Nothing could be worse than being stuck on a six hour sailing cruise with someone you are not hitting it off with. When planning your date, keep it short and simple and don’t try to plan too many activities.

Talking about religion and politics

Want a quick and easy way to turn someone off on your first date? Talk about your religious and political views. You’re walking on thin ice whenever the conversation travels in this direction because there’s a good chance that your date won’t agree with your opinions. Keep the conversation light and positive.

Getting drunk

I’ve yet to meet someone whose personality improves the more alcohol they drink. It’s not likely that you’ll be showing your best side and it’s very likely you’ll make some serious mistakes. When you’ve had too much to drink, you run the risk of being rude, offensive and overbearing. Keep your good judgment intact by limiting your alcohol intake to one or two drinks.

Showing up late

It’s tough to start the date off on a high note when you show up late. Although sometimes it can’t be avoided, you can limit lateness by making sure you have good directions to your rendezvous spot and that you leave yourself an extra twenty minutes to get there.

Complaining About Your Life

Don’t talk about your ex and what a terrible person they are. Don’t talk about what a jerk your boss is. Don’t talk about how angry you are that your rent is increasing. Don’t talk about how broke and lonely you are. Even if all of the above is true, save it for your next pub night with friends. It’s worth saying a second time… keep the conversation light and positive.

Aelicia J. Anderson